Title: RE(c)-Play
Author: Ellia Bronsky
Fandom: JE
Genre: RPS, AU, Angst\Romance with bits of accidental comedy and lots of fluff
Pairing: Pin with hints on Akame & possibly PiKame (haven’t decided yet)
Rating: from PG-13 to NC-17 in later chapters
Summary: Jin never returns to Jimusho from “short trip to L.A. for English lessons”. Instead he gets into the car accident and at the brink of healing Yamapi comes to take him back to the entertainment world.
A/N: More like Warning: excessive use of foul and abuse language through all the fic. That’s my way of angst-ish chars for you)…

Opening aka Intro.

0.

When they said me you were in the hospital after a car crash I thought it’s a joke. You – in bed? You – half-blind? Is it that same you I have known all these years? That same Bakanishi who squeaked from a small touch to his collarbone and laughed at himself and at others? Is it that Jin who wagged his ass in front of a camera and winked all the audience off their feet with one movement of an eye?
I couldn’t believe it that time. So I preferred to sweep it from my mind as rubbish and make a mental note to call you in near future and tell this pretty stupid joke – to laugh together with you at those who believed. You never answered my calls. Our friends have forgotten you even before – when you never returned to the group from a “short trip to L.A. for English lessons”. I asked for your new number – nobody knew it then, and I suspect they still don’t know it now.
I still can’t believe it even now, when I’m striding through the corridors of this small hospital hidden on the outskirts of Tokyo. I will see you in mere minutes but I’m not ready yet. I’m afraid I’ll run from the place at the sight of your bedridden body and covered eyes and won’t ever return to you. Never.
I will never leave you. Never ever again. I can tell everyone and especially you that we are only “best-best friends” who’ve known each other for a lo-ong time. I’m a liar. I realized it just now when they said I can lose you. When I heard from none else then Johnny-san himself(!) that you are sick and I should go check on you in this shabby hospital.
He said he expects you in two days to be at the meeting in Jimusho. About your return and forming a new unit. I don’t know what he expects, may be – a miracle? I checked on your medical record before going to your ward. I admit – I’m a coward, I tried to stretch this damn time before seeing you in the state. I’m still that same coward you ever knew – even now I’m afraid to think (and I’m even less brave to say it out loud) – about your condition.
My thoughts are wandering, it appears I myself will drop unconscious in a minute if these thoughts stay in my head and this damn white color stay at my sight – walls, hospital gowns, furniture –
Air, I want fresh air, and no more white, please!
God, help me! Here is the door. Door to your ward, luckily – personal, only for you.
The door opens to the sight of a bed with yellow sheets and covers of sunny orange color. Where are those idiot jokers who choose such mock colors for your ward? Red curtains on the window, happy green rug at the feet of a bed –
And you. Pale. Eyes closed. Covered in duvet up to your chin. Pointed features. Dry whitish lips. Hollow cheeks. Dark shadows under your eyes. You are somehow flat, small and thin under these heavy covers and one can lose you in this inappropriately merry room among all the colors and huge items of furniture.
“Who - ”
Your voice creaks.
“Jin, it’s me – Yamashita - ”
“Pi - ”
You smile faintly. Your eyes open wide and you try to stare at the ceiling. Hard. Then smile fades, you close your eyes and turn your head to my direction.
“How’ve you been, Jin?”
“Fine.”
You try to smile one more time but fail, your features twist in disgust.
“Useless. I’m useless.”
You purse your lips and screw up your closed eyes.
“He called me in the morning, you know. Said – I should come and work for him… Again.”
You sniff scornfully and nod in my direction.
“What d’you think, Pi? Should I?”
“Eh?”
Very clever. Sorry, Jin, but I’m more concerned about your condition than about Johnny-san and his plans for us. Yes, for us, but I can’t say more than a letter about this “new unit”. I won’t talk myself – I don’t want to. I want us to go far from here and never see all these ugly faces again. Hold you and never let go. That I cannot do yet.
“Yamapi? You – here?”
“Yes, Jin. I’m thinking. Actually, I’m thinking you should listen to yourself and not for anyone, not even to me. What do you want? I bet you want to hide and tend to your wounds and not listen to this old coot telling you to go to the stage to wag your ass. Hide. Heal. Get rest. Take your time. I’m surprised that you’re thinking about his offer seriously at all. You - ”
I wanted to add “you are blind”, but couldn’t bring myself to it – I’m a coward and a liar when with you.
“You - ?”
You reflexively thrust your eyes open and your empty stare almost frightens me to faint.
“Jin?” I interrupt you and regret it almost immediately. You turn away, closing your eyes, and snort again.
“Pi, I’m blind, but not deaf. You want to tell I’m blind – you must say it. Don’t hesitate - ”
You sob dryly.
“Hesitate. That’s my old song, you remember? You always said that I was hysterical when singing.”
“Bakanishi, you are hysterical now. Stop whining right here and get hold of yourself!”
May be you’re sick, but I’m sick, too. Of this grave atmosphere and your empty eyes and agony on your face.
“That – is not Bakanishi I’ve always known. Either you stop being delicate rosebud too sick and feeble to laugh at every little thing or - ”
“Or what?” You snort miserably.
“I’m leaving. You can drive someone else mad. I’m not buying it.”
I’m not going to leave, but pretend to loudly stride to the door and demonstratively creak it open with a ‘bump!’.
“Ja~”
“Wait! Tomohisa!” You try to jump out of bed and I stop at the door.
“Well?”
“Tomo, please - ”
“Shut the whine up.”
I’m out of the room in a second. I’m not working with this pitiful cry-baby. Money or not – I’m out of it. It’s too painful to look at your empty eyes and hear your hoarse voice whining and complaining. And at the same time remember – how you’ve been before.

“Coward.” Your voice is husky but not whining. You point surprisingly in right direction – at me – and echo my own thoughts. “You, Yamapi, are coward and liar. And we both know it. Come back and talk to me. Look at me. Say I’m a bitchy whine and cry-baby, shout at my weakness and pitiful-ness, you can even smack me if needed be. Don’t go. Just stay. Please?” You try to imitate your favorite pleading “puppy-eyes” but it’s not working or, rather, it’s working in the wrong way. I want to cry myself at the sight of your darkened half-closed eyes and pale shadow of your usual scorn and smirk at your features.
“Jin. Smile for me?”
You close your frightening eyes and smile weakly.
“That’s better. Now – come back to bed. And listen attentively.”
You obediently lie and turn to me.
“O-kay… Johnny-san demanded you in two days, right? So we have only these forty-eight hours to make you look more miserable than you’re now.”
“What?”
“He wants you to go to the media and tell everyone out there that you are blind and weak as a mouse. And then – to buy their love and worship with your weaknesses. You want it? No, you don’t. I just know it, so shut the fuck up and listen to me. You want their love for your voice and lyrics, not their pity for some incidental illness. So we need to become strong, to write many songs and to train back to our usual selves – with sexy voices and wagging asses.”
“We?”
“Yes, Jin – “we”. I don’t care about contracts so I’ll tell you now and here - ”
“Don’t. That would make sense but not in my case - ”
“Stop immediately. You want to cry? I’ll go get fresh air, you can cry as much as you want.”
“Pi.”
“Jin. Let’s make a deal. You want to play with the feelings – you call Johnny or Marry or anyone you want. And notify me in advance – I’ll go somewhere else.”
“I want to call Kamenashi.”
“Eh?”
“I want to call Kamenashi and cry on the phone. I want this bitchy whore to see me and - ”
“Jin. I don’t want to know… I don’t need to know. Not about you and Kamenashi. Not about you and anyone.”
“Yamapi?”
“I don’t care. Not about these things, no. So, let’s make another deal – either you hold your mouth shut about your past lovers or - ”
“Or what?”
“I leave. End of deal. You just broke the first one.”
“I never agreed to it. Or to any of these “deals” of yours, for that matter. You can screw them up… err… your nose. I want to whine – I will. I want to discuss with you, and only you, mind this, my past lovers – I will chat you up all night and day non-stop about it. I want to call Kamenashi and say him in his face all I think of him – I’ll do it and you’ll help me. And you know it.”
You snort and smirk. Usual scorn comes back to your features.
“By the way, I never heard and you never talked – why you came only now?”
“They told me a week ago. I never knew - ”
“Forget it. What do we do to screw things for Johnny? I can’t wait to damage some of his crystal-white reputation.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean… I’ll talk to you about it tomorrow. Now – tell me. What do we do?”
“Firstly, you need your rest and treatment. Then we will think something up and screw his plans.”
“Pi, I want out of here. Then I’ll become my normal self and we do everything in this damn world. I hate this freaking place, this rainbow ward and white corridors.”
“Jin?”
“Yes, Tomo.”
“How do you know? Err… Colors.”
“Smell them?” You snort and giggle. “Honestly, Pi! I’m not completely blind. My eyes are damaged but at least I can define some bright colors and dark shadows and forms of things and people.”
“What do they say?”
“That’s almost unlikely. Healing, I mean. May be some renewal, but not complete recovery.”
“So - ”
“So there is no point in waiting. And I want out of here. I’m sicker of this place than of my “wounds” as you’ve put it before.”
“Jin. Your parents went to Australia.”
Silence.
“Your flat… ”
“I know.” You again screw up your eyes and turn away.
“Jin.”
“Don’t.”
“Jin.”
“If you want – you can wait outside. I’ll call you.”
“You’ve said you never agreed to my “deals”. I’m staying.”
“Fine.” You cover your head with duvet. Your fragile frame under thick covers shivers and trembles.
“Jin.”
You either don’t hear or don’t mind.
“Jin. You can stay with me.”
You throw the duvet off from your head and turn back to me.
“You know, they never even called to warn me that they leave country. I bet they will call if… when this gets to the news. May be they even say they are sorry, or some other bullshit. I personally don’t care anymore.” Your red cheeks and even more darkened dry eyes tell the opposite. That you do care and do feel pain for their betrayal. I want to hug you tight and hold you hard and close to my chest. That I cannot do yet. Too early. Too risky for me and for us.
“Jin, once again – you will stay with me, at least until after you’re completely healed. Or you stay here.” This time I smirk myself. Don’t know if you can see it or not, but I make sure you can hear it in my words. That it’s a joke, and I’m not serious about leaving you here. If we’re going to mess Johnny’s business – I need to take you away from hospital…
“Jin!”
“Uh?” You are gloomy and disinterested in everything I’ll say even before I say it.
“Well, I have this pretty stupid and brilliant idea - ”
“Shoot.”
“Eh?”
“Spit it out. Tell it.”
“I was just thinking – how we can mess things up for Jimusho. And I’ve found a way.”
“End?”
“How would you like being held hostage?”
“What?”
“Hostage. I’m stealing you from this place and taking you to a hidden lair. How do you like it, eh?”
“You are something.” You smirk. Click your fingers. “Night?”
“What?”
“I’ll wait for you. Tonight, right? We don’t have much time, he waits for us in forty-eight hours.”
“Jin. It was… a joke. Stupid - ”
“But brilliant, yeah, I heard it. So you should go and prepare this “hidden lair” of yours. Make sure it is hidden for real. Then come back for me.”
“Jin, wait - ”
“Shut up and go.”
“Jin, no one will believe this. I, of all people, can’t possibly held you hostage! We are best friends!”
“Who said that?”
“What?”
“Who said that we are just friends?”
“Wha - ”
“No one said that you can’t want me and my body badly and use my weakness to get what you want.”
“Hey, I’m not that cruel!” I laugh despite of all the gloominess and strangeness.
“Oh, yes, you are!” You smirk more. “You are cruel for real, if you still argue with your best friend when he is half-blind.” You giggle. “Tonight. And don’t think you can escape it. Go. And come back.”
“Jin. You are even more crazy than I remember. Ja~”
I can’t restrain myself – I’m bending down to you and kissing you on the cheek and next second I’m out of the room, with your giggles following me like a ghost:
“Coward!”